MKE Week 2 – The Struggle is Real

Read More Posts by Hanalei Savala 

Category:  Week Two


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I’m still not used to this blogging thing. I don’t normally blog so it’s a bit weird having to type my feelings for the world to see but whatever. Trust the process.

I chose the picture of the crying baby with the tear because that is exactly how I feel. In our lesson this week, I remembered someone saying, “to control your thoughts starts with controlling your feelings”. I understand all the reading and writing and affirmations we do daily, 3x a day, 30 times a day, is the formula for resetting our subby into believing what we tell it to believe, but how do you get out of being just straight lazy? Is that my subby running my body?

Last week, I was excited to do this class, not feeling overwhelmed because I have taken college courses before and I am very grateful to Mark and Davene for letting us know this process is “like a college course” so that really put things in perspective for me. However, I procrastinated a lot in my college classes. I got my Master’s degree by bullshitting half my courses. You really can’t do that in this class because the only person I am hurting is myself. Quitting is NOT an option for me and I will ride this course out all the way til March, but whether or not I will be able to control subby is up to the person I am striving to be.

Revising my DMP this week couldn’t have been more difficult than ever. I thought it was going to be a breeze, but I am struggling to see the vision. I beat myself up knowing that I can’t see the vision because I am not doing the work in the way I am supposed to do the work, so then I beat myself up again then give into my unhealthy cravings to sugar. Getting out of this vicious cycle is a struggle. And then I hate saying things are hard, or overwhelming because then I make that my reality, but then I say things I don’t truly feel are real; so, I haven’t convinced my “body” to believe otherwise. Oh man… 24 more weeks to go……

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  • Yep!!! You are doing the work on reprogramming your subconscious. Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it NOW! Do it NOW! DO IT NOW! DO IT NOW!! DO IT NOW! do it now. do it now DOOO ITTT NOWWW! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! Do it Now! DO IT NOW!

  • Thank you so much for sharing. It is not always easy, but is so worth it. Hang in there, keep doing the work.

  • Wow, what a great post, Hanalei. Thanks for being so open with us. Not sure if it will help but I experienced a lot more peace when I realised that I had taught my subby all my unhelpful habits so could teach him better ones.

    Just needed a way of doing that – enter MKE 🙂

    Best of luck with the next 24 weeks…

  • Hanalei, thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing how hard this truly is. You are not alone in having that feeling. Just like you, when I first started, blogging, and DMP writing, was my biggest hurdle. I never blogged in my life and did not even write any journals when I was young. I was always thinking, wow, how do I do this? Like you, it was a relief when Mark and Davene that this is like a college course. I’ve done my MBA, so I thought I can handle this. It does get better, I promise you that. I am proof that it does get better. Keep up the good work and just follow the instructions no matter what. You’re doing very well. Keep it up.

  • You have got this, Hanalei! It isn’t easy chipping away at the cement. Think of it like a scab. When it comes off, there is sensitive baby skin underneath that sometimes hurts. Give yourself grace through the process while you grow and heal.

  • Thank you Hanalei for sharing! Follow the steps of the MKE and if you go off course just hit Reset and start from there. Trust the process going forward on this journey and you will see the unfoldment of the gold!

  • Miss Hanalei, oh boy a great life awakes the new you in 24 weeks. Every step gets easier with practice. Just as you learned to walk, it wasn’t the very first attempt. You did it over and over again and now you do it without thinking. See you at the top.

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