I experienced a situation recently where someone had kept secrets from me, and I felt very angry. I had all sorts of negative thoughts run through my mind that I directed toward myself, rather than the other person because I knew I created my outer world from my inner world, so part of the situation was my fault. As each thought crossed my mind, I knew they were not true, but I let myself think and feel them anyway. I knew resisting them would only make them grow stronger and I understood that I wasn’t wrong to feel that way or think those things as long as I didn’t act on, identify with, or believe them.
It was as if my observer self was watching a child throw a tantrum and say things they didn’t mean, while recognizing that in a short time all would go back to normal. I had been through tough experiences before, and I knew I would be ok and things would work out in time. I just had to be patient, give myself time, and calm down.
As I sat and thought about what was behind my anger, where it was coming from, I realized it was from a place of fear and love. This made the anger I felt seem less scary and more understandable and helped me feel some peace. I’m not an angry person; I am a very caring and loving person and the amount of passion in which I feel empathy and love was paralleled and amplified through anger because I perceived secrets and lies as a threat. I’ve learned from my mentor that whatever low vibration emotion I’m feeling is really just an inversion of a strength returning. So, the intensity in which I felt anger was directly correlated to the intensity of my authority returning. The fear underlying the anger was an indication of my faith returning.
I knew I created my outer world from my inner world and thoughts. I kept thinking of this part from the Greatest Salesman:
“I have been given eyes to see a mind to think and now I know a great secret of life for I perceive, at last, that all my problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise. I will no longer be fooled by the garments they wear for mine eyes are open. I look beyond the cloth and I am not deceived.” “And nature knows not defeat. Eventually, she emerges victorious and so will I, and with each victory the struggle becomes less difficult.”
All my anger and fear were coming up in my world because their illusion was over, and it was time for my strength and victory to return. I kept asking myself why this situation was happening for me, for my good, and how things would be better because of it (my great opportunity in disguise). Another one of other my mentors loves asking these three questions: What if this is perfect?; What if nothing has gone wrong here?; What if this is exactly where I’m supposed to be? She’s a strong believer that things happen the way they do for a reason and I’ve found this to be true.
I knew I had an opportunity to take back my authority and create a plan of action of how I was going to respond (tool for expanding). Before I took action, I asked myself more questions. How can I have compassion right now? What is the other person feeling? If I was in their shoes, how would I want someone to respond to me? How can I help this person and show understanding, forgiveness, and love? This helped get me in a better mindset before moving forward.
In the end, the situation worked out as I knew it would and things are back to normal, or even better. I’m proud of myself for how far I’ve come in evaluating my mindset and how quickly I can forgive others. So, I encourage you, and remind myself, that when a situation happens and negative emotions are present, ask the question: “Why is this happening FOR me?” rather than, “Why is this happening TO me?” and see how it changes your perspective and response.