MKE Week 3 – Impostor Syndrome

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Category:  Week Three


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The last week I have been up and down like a yo yo. One day feeling great, noticing a real tangible shift in myself and seeing it reflected in everything around me. Happy people, sun shining, everything going right. The next day, or night, not being able to sleep, feeling sorry for myself, feeling disconnected with no faith, lonely and like a big failure. Impostor syndrome. I know deep in my heart that I have God given talents. I am an excellent artist, I am a Star singer, I am a great speaker and I have helped hundreds of clients to magically transform their lives. I have had lots of success and experienced so many miracles. Yet, here I am with an aching heart. Feeling incapacitated, alone, afraid, small and hopeless. And I need to start magnetizing some funds. Like now.

I was dead tired yesterday as I went to Örebro for my weekly lindyhop class. Once I got there I learned it had been canceled, but I was invited to partake in a higher level class. It was a blast, so much fun, yet, as I was on the bus to return home, late evening, I felt so sad and so tired.

I feel like I am not a part of society, like I have dropped down from a spaceship in a strange place where most other beings belong and feel at home, but not me. I have had this feeling before. A long time ago. I thought I had seen through this illusion, like I broke the code once and for all. I have been happy and felt good about things for a long time now. It surprises to feel so disconnected from everyone again. It scares me. Afraid that I won’t be able to sleep and that I will be tired tomorrow, I pray that I find a way to just relax and sleep well.

Just do it.

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  • Thank you, Janet. I can be what I will to be – and I will a lot!! I am having fun with this, feeling strong and confident – ready to explore new sides of myself!

  • Thank you so much, Pammy. I gratefully receive your prayers. I know and feel that our Master Mind works. I am becoming a master at producing bliss-peptides no matter what goes on out there. Feeling confident, happy and strong. There is always a new level of bliss once the cement cracks and is shipped off. I am deeply grateful that the process is so fast these days. Love and smiles!

  • Thanks so much, Allan. I totally agree with you. There is always more light on the other side of that cement disposal. I have to laugh. I hear Og’s voice again, “nah, no feeling sorry for yourself, remember, you are a big girl now”. He is such a sweetheart. Mr Haanel too. I think he is the most gentle and kind soul I have ever encountered. Peace and Grace

  • Thanks for a great answer. Oh yes, I know there is always more light on the other side of that fear. This time it is about getting out there and exposing myself. I am a speaker, singer and actor- I love being on stage but it has been a while because of the last couple of years. I feel different now. Before I had enormous stage fright, but I would force myself to do it anyways. This time I am going to approach it differently and teach myself to produce blisspeptides instead of stresspeptides! In my DMP as of yesterday: “I am the master of blisspeptide production, no matter what outer circumstance.”

    Bye, bye cement 🙂

  • Thank you, dear Wanda. I fully agree with you. Of course. I have been through these episodes a million times it seems. The time for transmuting them gets shorter and shorter and they come up less often. Usually when we invite a greater challenge. I know that there is even more light on the other side. It is very useful just to write it out.

    Today I was attacked by somebody, he tried to bully me. I got defensive and angry for about 5 seconds, then I turned the energy around and created a tsunami of blisspeptides in my brain. It gave me so much energy that I immediately walked away from the situation and cleaned my mom’s house for a couple of hours. With great joy! Victory!!

  • Thank you, Stephanie, thanks for the prayers. I got through it and on a deeper level this time. I actually heard Og say to me, “Grow up, little girl, no time to feel sorry for yourself. Don’t ever do that again, ok?” Then I started laughing seeing what I was doing to let myself get away from just doing what I have set myself out to do. Ah, the excuses, but at the same time I have compassion for myself. There are always new levels of mastery and we always continue to evolve. I believe I/ we have work to do as long as there is still a single being on the planet that is in pain. We are only as strong as the weakest link in the chain and the more expanded we get, the more we can help each other by feeling into another and lightening their loads. That is what us empaths do and it is beautiful. One for All, All for One.

  • Stand in your talents, in who you are! The class that was a blast! In all of your accomplishments.. Let go of the negative and shine!

  • Sending you, Ann-Charlotte, prayers of wisdom, discernment, and peace so that you feel confident and happy through all circumstances. The tools you learn here are paramount to gracefully navigating the challenges that arise. I’ve been there; and this works!

  • Hi Ann-Charlotte. Gosh-I can identify with what you are going through. It seems to me that we get comfortable/happy once we’ve let go of some of the cement and that’s OK for a while. In fact, my experience is that it feels great.
    Then we decide (and I’m thinking that’s what MKE is all about-letting the cement go purposefully rather than a bit at a time) to let some more cement go and we feel disorientated for a while until we get happy with that.
    My expereince is that we always end up happier after one of these episodes-hope you get there soon.
    All the best

  • Thank you for sharing so honestly Ann-Charlotte. Every condition and emotion brings with it an information, a message. What do they tell you? To be such vulnerable is both a strength and opens up for shipping away old cement. What cement are you shipping off?

  • Miss Ann-Charlotte, I believe it’s human to go through what you shared. The best part is you are in control, you are the one making the shots and allowing yourself to feel good. “Do It Now”. See you on the upside.

  • Oh, Ann-Charlotte, I feel you on this one! For most of my life, since a little girl, I have also felt like an outsider looking in on the normal lives around me that I just don’t seem to be a part of. And a sense of being alone, even when in a crowded room. For me, I am realizing that it was from past hurts and traumas which built up a huge sense of shame, which subsequently built up a wall of isolation. As I have been able to trust again and share my story, then intimacy and connection was able to happen again. Praying for you! I’m here to lend an ear anytime.

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