MKE Week 10 – Ask Ask Ask

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Category:  Week Ten


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MKE Week 10

Ask Ask Ask
Whether it’s help from a friend you need or maybe a it’s a prayer you need answered from your infinite source of power, in order to receive either, you must ASK. I’m sure there are books, studies and research about why it is hard for some folks to “ask” and it seems effortless for others, this is my take on it.

“Ask and Ye shall receive”. “If you don’t ask, 100% of the time it is no.” “What is the worst thing that will happen if you ask? They say no.” These phrases or something similar I have said to myself and my children over and over again, yet there is still an uncomfortable hesitation when I decide to ask someone for something. Am I afraid to look dumb if they say no? Will it hurt my feelings to be rejected? Am I worried if they say, “yes” I will feel an imbalance in our relationship as if I owe them something? I believe it is a little bit of all of them.

Ok, so I know this consciously so we all know subconsciously there’s probably generations of belief piled up, what can we do about it? One of the ways I’ve been able to re-frame it in my mind/heart is I ask myself how will what I am asking of someone else do for them? Is it really a benefit for them or a burden?

I used an analogy with my children about asking for help from their teachers/mentors. As a leader, teacher, mentor it makes them feel good when a student is interested enough in learning the material to ask a question or to ask for help. I would joke, “we adults LOVE to feel like someone is listening, like we are making an impact.” Asking for help, doesn’t mean you aren’t smart enough or you don’t have value, it means you are in a different place in your journey. Often it is the person who is “helping” who gains the most from the exchange.

Another realization for myself was that it truly brings me joy to give to and help others. This helped me realize that other people feel the same way, especially the one’s in my “tribe”. When we think about it this way, asking for help can make others feel important, needed, and confident so it in turn makes me feel great too.

The last part of this is the no… when someone would say no (which honestly rarely happens) I would worry that it was because of me or something I had done. I realized that many people have such a low “tank” there is nothing left to give, no energy, no money, no love, no time etc. These are the folks that need me to pour more of myself into them and I tell them I love them within myself so they can feel better and get to a better place.

Hopefully if you struggle to ask, now you see it can be a fun and rewarding service to others and you can begin to enjoy the ask.

Meet Ann Walls

Mother of five, wife, creative, goofy, passionate person who doesn’t take herself too seriously. Ann loves the color purple and truly loves colors, textures and patterns in general. She comes from a musical and artistic family but chose to follow more analytical careers as a pharmacist and a financial advisor. Ann enjoys people and helping them become the best versions of themselves. As a person with HUGE goals, She enjoys collaborating and masterminding with other positive, passionate people who enjoy creating their lives.

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  • Loved reading your blog post, Ann! Thank you so much for all the insight on asking for help, you’ve given me some good ideas on what asking looks like to all involved. Appreciate you 💖

  • This is truly inspiring and has made me think more about the cobwebs that I still need to dust off to improve. Thank you so much for your share

  • When I was dealing with issues in my body it was the “ask” that was the difficult task! So, I had to encourage myself to say that just because you need help doesn’t make me helpless. That was my greatest hurdle and once I got past that things became easier. Thanks for sharing!

  • I think that sometimes when asking for help it makes you feel vulnerable, which is usually not the case. But I think you nailed it when you said that the person being asked for help gets the most out of it.

  • This is such a great point, Ann. Growing up with the “Yankee” mentality of “do it yourself” and self sufficiency, asking for help was always hard for me – until I realized that by not asking for help, I was actually depriving others of giving to me. Since I value giving to others, that really hit home.

    Thanks for the cool reminder!

  • Yes, asking for help or being asked to help out is such a beautiful thing. I wish more people reached out in this way. I can definitely ger better at asking for help. Thanks for reminding me!

  • I love this topic and how you shared your thoughts on this! I, too, have a hard time asking for help. maybe I’m so used to spinning all my plates that if I let someone else help, all the plates will fall, lol!

  • I totally deleted a thought and failed to mention that after thinking of my fear of rejection in my business, I now realize that it’s not about me asking others if they need help, but more of asking others if they can help me. Ironically, I carry an index card in my wallet that states, “Ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you.” Matthew 7:7

  • Reading your blog made me think about my fear of rejection in my business. But you are so right that people naturally want to help others. I love that you mentioned people who “help” are often the ones who gain from the exchange. Beautifully stated! Thank you!

  • Ann, thank you so much for what you have been writing these days in the alliances sections and the blogs. The writings have really resonated especially what you said above in the first paragraph.

  • Thank you for the share Ann, getting back to the child keep asking questions to learn more.

  • Really good point about not being willing to ask for help but loving it when other people ask. Thanks for this – made me think.

  • Thanks Ann, that is a great perspective! Something I will keep in mind the next time I feel reluctant to ask for help:)

  • I love the simple reminder of “ask and you shall receive” and if you don’t ask then you get a no 100% of the time! You get to control how you respond to a no – that is where your power is. Like the Law of Dual Thought says – You can attach any feeling you desire to any thought.

  • Wow, really cool. I could really identify with the “low tank” … I was so busy beating myself up and being selfish and in self pity to be there or present for anyone else. Thank u for paving the way!

  • I love your thoughts on this. It’s so true, I know that I LOVE it when others ask me for help but when I think of asking for help, I resist. Thank you so much for sharing!

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