Last week was quite the eye opener. I’ve never put thoughts to pen before, however I can be quite stubborn. I realized quite strongly how I respond to criticism (even if helpful) – not very well. For 5 weeks I disliked the DMP …. and disliked even more so the weekly critiques that came with them. After week 4 I stopped ‘improving’ it.
Stepping away last week put things into perspective. It’s also made me realize that ‘blind faith’ has not been a welcome term. I like being in control. I like knowing the end goal. I like organization and status quo. I suppose my stubbornness allows me to hide behind a shield and not be vulnerable.
Somehow Sunday’s class turned on a switch and even though there is still a bit of an uncertainty as to where the course is going, I’m excited. Maybe for the first time I’m open to letting go of control, to letting things just ‘be’ and allowing myself to be more vulnerable. For once I’ve started onto a path not well worn.
I am looking forward to changing one of my Needs (I had originally chosen it, and then changed my mind) and working on my DMP. I am also very excited to make my movie.
The only person I was hurting with my stubbornness was me.