My path on the Hero’s Journey has started. It is not starting at a sprint pace. It is not as slow as a crawl but not progressing as fast as I would like because of my dragons.
They are like super cement on the golden Buddha. They are just much harder to chip off. Small pieces are coming off, so progress is slow; however, progress is being made.
Yesterday I was cleaning out some things from my files. I came across a Habit Finder assessment I had taken in 2009. I briefly reviewed the assessment and found it closely aligned with my Color Code report. That validates the finding on both.
The Habit Finder is broken down into several different categories. Each category is then broken into six habits or attributes. You are then scored as being aligned or with a low, moderate, or high risk of being out of alignment.
Most of mine were aligned, with some being low or moderate. When I got to the category of My Self, though, I had one high-risk, one moderate, and one low-risk. This is where my giant dragon appears.
My giant dragon showed up as feeling unworthy. That was my high-risk attribute. I have known this for a while. I realized it by watching a training video. I have worked on this and am making progress. Seeing it highlighted in this assessment caused me to think about it more.
My moderate risk was related to character. The trouble is believing that anything short of perfection is a failure, which may lead me to feel less in myself because I am not perfect. Ok, I know I am not perfect, but I do know that this sometimes comes into play. So, these two dragons are just one giant dragon. This giant dragon does affect me in other ways. If I get rid of the giant dragon, everything else will fall away from the golden Buddha.
Lucky for me, I have the MKE. The exercises, lessons, and everything else have helped to chip off the small pieces. I can do more, and I am. I am doing more meditations.
Even though I said I would, the one thing I have yet to do is get into the alliances. My hesitancy to get into the alliances and not want anyone to read my blogs is due to my giant dragon. I don’t want anyone to read my blogs because they are not perfect. So, I don’t want anyone to see all that imperfection.
I know they will never be perfect, but I never look at them, so I don’t see any comments. With the alliances, I get emailed when there is a comment. When I go back, I see the comments. I have never had a negative comment. My problem is that I feel obligated to reply and never have anything good enough to say.
I am reluctant to find a mastermind because I don’t feel I have anything to contribute to the other person.
I continue to work on slaying the dragon. It might be wounded a bit. Since I now have a renewed focus on the dragon, I will work harder. Maybe dip my toes in the alliances and work my up until I’m all in.
I have one enormous advantage with the MKE. I am aware of the problem, and I have the help of the MKE community and staff. Let’s hear it for dead dragons.