I’ve been getting overwhelmed with all the work. I didn’t post last week. Emotional turmoil.
I’d try and direct my attention to something boring then beat myself up about not getting it done or waiting too long. This is not for the faint of heart in my opinion(whoops).
I think this might be harder and more challenging than getting clean and sober which is… wow, but this is such vital and important work to do. It REALLY challenges me, till I think I can’t take it anymore, then ahhh I get to the other side and experience the joy of overcoming.
I believe that I’ll feel better and better as a result of this program and I do look forward to seeing what happens.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that I’m more confidently optimistic maybe stemming in a new belief of a higher power and just being a part of the whole.
I’m giving more of myself to my new god and maybe that is where the confidence is coming from. Trying to do anything without help from anything or anyone is lonely and nobody gets in my way like I do!
I feel weird about posting the whole kindnesses thing. Because I’ve always done it anyway and I don’t feel like I need to write about how kind I am.
I’m really so happy I’m hanging in there and doing the work, because even though I’ve suffering, I am kind to people, and things are actually getting better!
The permission thing is huge too because I love being able to give myself permission to be sad and feel my feelings as well as permission to be happy 🙂