MKE Week 17 HJ – Late bloomers and aged wines

I started thinking about when my own hero’s journey actually started. As I have pondered that question I can see that The Herald has called me several times and I can also see that there are smaller journeys within the big journey. The first time I can remember hearing the call was when I was 8 years old and my school teacher thought it would be great for me to go to a music school for talented children. I was picked out in my school because of my voice. It was angelic and I always got to sing the solos in class. However, I was scared. I suffered from social phobia and I did not have the guts to leave my old school to start at a new one. So, I refused the call of the Herald and the Muse and my inner artist died, or at least went numb.

There have been a few other calls along the way, like starting up my career as a research scientist to get my PhD. That in itself led me to move abroad together with my American husband and our one year old daughter. I was paralyzed with fear. Moving from SwEden to New Mexico to do a postdoc with a new supervisor at the Cancer center in Alququerque gave me many, many sleepless nights. My social phobia, PTSD and several other more or less severe physical and psychological problems had already made my life living hell many times. It didn’t make it easier to find myself in one of the most criminal middle-sized cities of the US.  Drive-by-shootings and methamphetamine factories were common in Albuquerque back in those days. If you have seen the series “Breaking Bad”, you know what I mean. We lived in what was known as “The War Zone” in Abq. After three months I had had enough. I was so frightened and devastated that I fell to the ground. I found myself praying to God on my bare knees, even though I did not believe in God back then. I had run out of ideas of what I could do so there was nothing left but my angst and my desperate prayers to God.

Thank God, yes Universal Mind answered me, in the most perplexing and mystical ways, and things changed. For those of you who know it, New Mexico is an amazingly magical place, at least once you get outside of The Cancer Center. NM is, for many good reasons, called the “Land of Enchantment”. My family and I came to stay there for ten years and we discovered the magic and closeness to the Heavens and to a special kind of natural spirituality living there in Native American Land. My career as a research scientist had abruptly ended. The Herald called me to work with healing, meditation, yoga, crystals, essential oils and to start to explore my creative sides through music, art, dancing and all kinds of other fun things that was offered in the beautiful state of NM. With its seven different climate zones, the Rockies, hot springs and a rich tri-ethnic culture of Hispanics, New Mexicans and Anglos, there were endless opportunities for a great Divine Adventure. It was an amazing time, but it also had to come to an end as the Herald once again called me. This time to Auroville and India, where I spent a total of almost two years, but that is a whole other story.

From deep within the scientific world of molecular genetics and the reductionism of the material, western world, I traveled east to embrace spirit and the religious traditions of India. I have traveled back and forth, west to east, east to west and now I find myself more permanently back in the middle. Close to the Zero meridian. In Sweden, between the east block and the west block, I am here to bring the best from both sides and Unite them as One in my beloved homeland. My Big Hero’s Journey is coming to an end. By heeding the call of the MKE I can now see how I am finally honoring that very first call as an eight year old little girl afraid of going to a new school to study music. I regretted that decision, to not choose the music, many times. Now, as I sit here all of those thoughts are gone. I know that I had to go through all of that to become who I am today. Much better and much more me.

This coming Friday I have a brand new musician friend over and he is going to help me with a really great jazz tune I’ve been working on for at least five years. He has a band and I am closer than ever to perform with him and his band, and actually, do a solo thing with my own music. For the first time ever.

Yes, I am a late bloomer… but I guess it is for me, like it is with a really good wine.

It – and I – only get better with age.