The ever elusive big question: Who am I?
And the twin brother: Why am I here?
Do we ever really find the answer to these two questions?
Or have we had the answers all along?
Now, it is easy to get all philosophical in theory about these questions. Or to find some inspirational quote that give you a warm fuzzy feeling.
But, what do you do when you have built your world around what you thought was your everything and then it gets taken from you? What do you do when you thought you were living your dream, your fairy tail, and all of a sudden it crumbles like a house of cards right in front of you and there is nothing you can do about it, leaving you feeling powerless?
I am only 42 years young, however I never imagined being where I am right now. I got married at 25. By 29 I was the proud father of three beautiful children. Life was perfect and blissful. Or at least so I thought. Long story short. I. Got divorced a little over a year ago. Wifey dearest moved away to another province. Over 600km away! With my children. All of a sudden, I am single and childless. Well, I am still a father, however I don’t see my children as often as I would like to anymore. All of a sudden, I am back to square one. I used to be a husband. Now I am not. I used to an active father involved in my children’s day-to-day lives. Now I am not. Wifey dearest got remarried. Leaving reconciliation as not a very likely possibility. Hence me. Having to find the answers to the opening questions from scratch again.
Now, before this starts to sound like a pity party, let me be clear! I know I’m not the first person to get divorced and I know I’m not the last. I just find it a bid challenging to find my new identity as this is not quite what I planned for my life.
I know that there is still a lot left for me to live for and this MKE journey could not have come my way at a better time. I embrace that I need to dig deep and pick myself up by my own bootstraps. I know that every ending presents a new beginning… see now I’m philosophical and quoting some inspirational person somewhere… I just don’t really know where I’m going… YET!
There is a world within — a world of thought and feeling and power; of light and life and beauty; and, although invisible, its forces are mighty.
Charles Haanel, Master Key System 1:6
So, as I understand it, my identity is internal and has always been there… I just need to Let it out… and no matter what has happened and what may happen…
Life is an unfoldment, not accretion. What comes to us in the world without is what wê already possess in the world within.
Charles Haanel, Master Key System 1:16
To the unfoldment of me….
Yes, you are right, there is still a lot left for you to live, especially after such a challenging experience! Everything lies in the World Within and you are now discovering the tools to explore it and master it…Thanks for sharing your story, I’m sure your courage to bounce back will be an great source of inspiration for many!
Hi Gerhard.
I can certainly empathise with what you’re going through. I went through the same many years ago. The brilliant thing is that you have all the tools you need to set up great habits in keeping touch with your children and being there for them, and carving out a new life.
I look forward to seeing how your journey unfolds.
Best of luck.
Thank you for sharing your story so honestly Gerhard. And welcome back to the MKE! I’m glad to see you here again and I’m looking forward with excitement to see you unfold all the magic within you. The adventure of your life has began!
Gerhard – thank you for sharing where you’re at right now.
I join everyone in their comments that have been made before mine & also… cheers to the unfoldment and flourishing of you.
Tender is the soul in change.
Thanks for sharing your blog and your story, Gerhard. Many of us can relate to the changes that happen as a result of failed relationships. The good news is that you are acquiring amazing tools to help you navigate through the hard times and focus on all the good that comes out of all experiences.
Thank you for sharing Gerhard, your on the right track.
Welcome to the unfolding Gerhard! There is truly gold under all of the cement we have piled on over the years. As you quoted in Master Key Part 1-6.
And Gerhard, we are celebrating your new awareness with you, and are there with you to help you release that marvelous person inside. With joy and excitement, I await hearing about your new adventures. Thank you for sharing so deeply and personally.