This week was really hard for me and I actually had my subby take over yesterday and sulked into a breakdown. My husband has been great at holding me accountable for doing my daily assignments but as I started to cry to him he asked me, “Honey, have you been doing your reads or sits?”, and I reluctantly turned my head from side to side and said no. I have so many excuses that I can share on why I haven’t been doing my sits or my reads, but we all know that will eventually bring us nowhere and definitely not the place that I want to be. But If I’m blogging, can’t I share my struggle?? We are already in Week 9 moving on to Week 10 and I feel like I have been moving backward. I have been writing my blogs at 3-4 am PST because I have been falling asleep with my daughter when I try to put her asleep and then wake up in the middle of the night. I have a 15- month toddler who takes the majority of my time and most everything I do revolve around her. The time I have to blog or read is when she is sleeping and she usually falls asleep between 8-10 pm so then I go downstairs to work on myself, but I end up falling asleep with her especially if she takes a while to fall asleep so my last hour goes out the window.
Although I have been still battling subby, I feel like there are always signs around me in the universe still trying to keep me on track. So- no TV this week, but how could I isolate myself from everyone during the holidays with a TV in every room on. (laughing but not really). I saw an episode of “Limitless with Chris Helmsworth” and the show was about using “tools” to help reduce stress and lower anxiety by doing 1. Positive self-talk, 2. Visualizing your thoughts and desires 3. Sitting with yourself daily to meditate. Can you believe that? Things we already do. Gifts we have already been given through MKE. In my heart of being grateful, I can say that I am very thankful for this course. I am thankful for the people in this class. I am grateful for our mentors, trainers, and tribe leaders. I am grateful for all the time that goes into this class behind the scenes so that people like me can have access to this power at my fingertips. I end my blog with a heart of gratitude and forgiveness to myself. Thank you, God, for allowing today to be a new day as yesterday is now gone. #grateful