Here it is Sunday night, MKE Webinar done, and I continue on my journey to take control of the one within.
Who me, couldn’t be me, is it possible that the world without has such a deep tided knot that every little step I take to get control seems to cinch that knot even tighter, sure seems that way.
I think back to my childhood and then realize I don’t want to go there, it’s over, move on.
Something is keeping me locked inside, but what?
If I know I wouldn’t be here today, I keep thinking.
Something so deeply tied up inside of me that won’t let me push on and escape.
I have a great life, husband, sons, daughter-in-law, and a super doper grandson, a roof over our heads, clothing, and food what else do I really need?
Maybe that is all I need, but then I realize that if my husband were to pass before me, I wouldn’t have enough to continue to live on. I pray that he doesn’t, but we know we can’t rely on that.
So, here I am being the best student, teacher, mentor, and loving person that is stuck in a very deep hole, not seeing any daylight of ever escaping.
As I wrote that I realize that was a negative thought that needs to be corrected.
Tears have come to my eyes several times this week while watching the clip from Karate Kid, even the one they played during the webinar.
Why, what is the meaning of this, where do I see myself going, why is that bothering me?
It’s time for me to take control of the journey from within.