A while ago, my guide instructed me to write a thirty to sixty-word biography for my blog. I did not want to do this and just ignored it. Last weekend I was reminded to get my bio written and in. At first, I ignored it for a day or two. Then Sunday night, when I was getting ready for work, I started thinking about it. I was not thinking about writing my bio. I was thinking about how much I didn’t want to write it. I was shaving while thinking about this and took a chunk of skin off my chin. The bleeding did not improve my mood at the time. Once I stopped the bleeding and was ready for work, my mood improved. Then I started to wonder why I was so against writing my bio.
My first thought was there was nothing to write. Then I thought of something and realized that it sounded pathetic. So that was a no-go. During the night at work, I considered my reluctance. I still needed to come up with the answer. Then I realized it was either fear or lack of confidence. A combination of the two, or they are the same thing. I don’t want to put anything out there because I don’t feel I have anything to offer, so I don’t want to put anything out that is not good.
I know now this is why I do not go into the alliances, don’t post on social media, and was uncomfortable writing the blogs. I had to do the blogs, so I got them done. Always hoping no one would read them.
I know that MKE is a safe and supportive community. I also know that I need to address this issue of mine. I would not have thought about this issue if I was not in MKE. So, what do I do? I’ll write my bio later. First, I’ll go into the alliances, make some comments, and discover that it’s okay. Get comfortable and build up to going in the alliances every day. Writing this makes me uncomfortable just thinking about leaving comments daily.
I’ll fight through it and improve and progress. It will not feel comfortable, but it will be worth the struggle.
Right now, I still hope no one reads my blog. I’ll get over that too.
Thank you for posting your truth John. We have all been able to relate, at some point in our lives. Keep asking yourself questions & working through it one day at a time. Things will change as time moves on & you may surprise yourself & what you are truly seeking will reveal itself when the time is right. Thank you for being transparent, it is very encouraging.
I think there are a lot of us that share the same reluctance to share, for whatever reason. A little bit at a time and it gets easier.
(Well, sorry John, I’m reading all of them.) Just do it, and let go of what others will think. From my perspective, it’s always nice to know a bit more personally about the person who wrote what we’re reading. It’s not a contest. You get to tell us whatever you want us to know more about you. It can be serious, or fun… but it’s up to you…
I think starting by commenting a little in the alliances is a great idea and may help you feel more comfortable writing your blog and bio.
I totally enjoy reading your blogs, John, probably because I can identify with them. Great job observing and discovering something about yourself. 😎
One step at a time, John. One step at a time! 🙂
Bad news, mate, prompted by this blog, I’ve just binged on all your posts so far :-). Love them. I think you write really well, very compelling and honestly. Looking forward to more. And welcome to the Liberty and True Health club…
John, I’m reading your blog!!
How does it feel to know we are all reading and enjoying everything you write?
I’m happy for you that you are coming to know yourself better through this process and addressing the ‘cement’ that has been holding you back.
You are the bud blossoming into a beautiful flower that gives fruit!
You’ve got this!