I remember when I first heard that expression, “Letting go and letting God”. I like it and wondered who had come up with such an intelligent way of putting it.
This week has been about letting go on the deepest level and I did not see it coming at all.
I have found something that I was still attached to and that I have been attached to for as long as I can remember. No, it is not my own body, my own life, my children nor my family, nor my friends. Not anyone with a physical body. We are all souls and we will always be together. We are One. I know this.
My attachment was something else. I realized that it was a place. A place I never even thought of letting go of. This particular place is the most precious and beautiful place I know on this planet. The place is our family homestead. It has been in my family for 15 generations. We have been here at least since the early 1400’s and I am the next one in line to take over.
I have known this for all of my life. It has always been expected of me. Many times it has felt like a great burden to me. Other times it has been an incredible joy and excitement to know that I had been trusted with the great honor of taking care of this incredible place and cultural heritage. A place that means so much to so many.
A few days ago I woke up with a strong voice inside of me that said, “It is time to sell the farm.”. The voice kept going on and on about putting the farm on the market and telling my mother that it was time to let go of it all. I kept thinking about the possibility during the day. Imagining strangers buying the farm and not taking care of it. Seeing it all fall apart and disappear.
As I have lived with that thought the last few days I have come to realize that I can let go of this place and I will survive. Moreover, I can actually thrive even if I don’t live here. I can be happy without this place, even though I would miss it from time to time. But, my life does not depend on being here nor being the one to take care of it. .
And so, I came to peace with the idea that I actually don’t have any attachment to anything in the material world anymore. I know and trust fully that whatever is meant for me is always there. No grasping. No neediness. Knowing that all is good and that all needs are always met. That is big. It is huge. I am free.
My “old” self, the “smaller” self finally surrendered. It feels like it is dead. No, it is not really “dead”. As I observe it, it looks a little grumpy. It does not get it’s way anymore and so it sits in a corner feeling sorry for itself. No, that is not me. It is what used to be me, but it is not my now and greater self. My true self. I know my worth. I can quickly transmute fear and worry to calm and peace. I am the master of me.
There is no need to re-act anymore.
I am happy and I am the greatest salesperson in the world. Yes!!!
I convinced myself and I am now sold – on me. The price was extremely high, and so worth it.
This is amazing and it feels so good.
In my meditation today another song came through. It is in Swedish, and I have already recorded it. I like it a lot and I shared it with a new friend today. He liked it too. I’m happy. Content.
And, I have lived this day as if it was my last. I do, however, expect to wake up tomorrow again.
But if I don’t, “So long, and thanks for all the fish”. 😉