Last week, I talked about the anxiety I had just “thinking” about getting away for 48 hours from technology or connection with other people. I confessed my physical/emotional addiction to my external habitual comforts.
Well, after two days of being by myself in the very comfortable home of my son and daughter daughter-in-law; I will confirm my physical addiction presented itself in several ways. Instead of making a long list and boring you with unnecessary details, I will share one disappointment.
To be fair, I LOVE my morning routine. I enjoy my energy water, and my hyper-vibe machine and especially I LOVE my morning cup of coffee. My heart skipped a beat when was realized I didn’t bring the paper filters for the Aero Press to make my coffee. Panic. I looked around. Opened every cupboard, and drawer, any coffee is better than no coffee….. right?
No coffee but I noticed a full drawer of organic, healing, herbal teas for every physical need, from waking up to going to sleep and everything in between. Any other time tea would be lovely. However, in the morning, my coffee time with “God” would never be the same. I felt incredibly “unhealthy”, and almost very “spoiled” not even considering morning tea. If I were a toddler, I would have had a tantrum. My body was screaming, “I want organic pressed coffee!”
I’m embarrassed to admit, I actually thought, “I could run home and get some, no one said I couldn’t drive in my car and go back to my home right?
The day progressed from there. I don’t think I totally embraced the “silence” as Intended. For instance, there were thoughts about what time is it, what do I do next. I introduced myself to all five of their plants, watered them as instructed (since they were on vacation), and began building a relationship with them. I will probably say hello next time I go over there. The truth is, I don’t have conversations with my plants, well maybe only my favorites. And when I do have conversations with my plants at home, it’s not verbal conversations it’s more thoughts in my head. During this 2 day retreat, my conversations with their plants were out loud. LOL.
The first day I took a random 30-minute nap, I think out of boredom. Then I got up and decided I should take a walk and get to see their neighborhood. I walked for over an hour. I did think about Haanel, the power of thoughts and manifestation, as I notice the changes in architecture from one section of the neighborhood to the other.
Overall, I did enjoy journaling. I ended up bringing a journal that I started in 2020. At that time, the lockdown gave me a lot of alone time. At the beginning of the lockdown, I lived all by myself. Life was very quiet. It was Mother’s day when I began seeing my family.
The blessing for me was taking prayer and intimacy with God to a whole new level. It was a season of learning new things about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Looking back, I realized that I really enjoyed those early ascensions. They remind me of “The Sit” in MKE.
I’m sure there’s a purpose for everything that happened during my 48 hours retreat. I’m still not sure if I fully embraced the “silence.” Had a lot of everyday thoughts, laughed at myself and my thoughts, and went on a long walk and then a run the second day. Realized it’s hard for me to just sit still. I figured, movement as long as I am quiet still counts, right?
In the future, I do believe I’m supposed to go somewhere in nature. I have a women’s event this Sunday that I am considering to “be the place” for my nature retreat.
In the meantime, I still don’t have a definitive answer, “Is Silence Golden?” I think I was expecting some type of a life-changing aha moment to happen. In actuality, I actually heard a lot of “chatter” in that brain of mine. Guessing these are my baby steps into knowing the “inner world of Terri?”