Silence, Is It Golden?
I usually love the weekly webinars. I always learn so much and leave so excited and inspired for the coming week. Surprisingly, this week was just the opposite. Let me explain.
This week we ended with a challenge, in my mind, it was a really BIG challenge. For me this was the example of a person hearing “what they wanted to hear”, maybe in my case, it was “what I was afraid to hear.”
Mark ended this week challenging all of us to go on a minimum, 48-hour silence retreat. He said no electronics: cell phones, laptops, television, probably watches… And it was obvious NO communication with other people. Of course, a few people shared all the “positive, wonderful, enlightening, experiences they had during their first “silent retreat.”
What did Terri hear? In addition to no people and no electronics, I heard four-day vision quest; or at least a form of it. I pictured being out in a cabin miles away from everybody. Maybe making my own fire either in a wood stove or a campfire, and for whatever reason, I heard “no coffee”, (I usually only have one cup in the morning, why I heard that I don’t know). What I pictured was very similar to a Native American vision quest; those traditional events one does as one matures into adulthood. It is when you are out there in the wilderness for 4-10 days, by yourself, and all you get is a gallon of water a day.
Now I live in Oregon, and at this time of the year, temperatures range from the high 20s to the high 30s and there’s still snow on the ground. With that said, I still had a list of every retreat center in beautiful Corbett, OR. I even reached out to a few friends before the call was over; people who lived out in Corbett. The rest of my list I was going to call Monday morning.
After the call was over, I felt my body feeling very anxious and unsettled. So much so, I ended up taking a hot detox bath. Now mind you, I’m not one to sit still let alone be silent. Being single, I’ve learned to keep noise on in the background pretty much all the time. Mostly podcasts, webinars, books on tape, or music. My justification is not wanting to waste time. When I am streaming a podcast or webinar, I can clean the house, cook, or do yard work all at the same time.
I’m in the bath, in silence, (no laptop to help me be still), consciously acknowledging how stressful and resistant I am feeling towards this 48-hour challenge. At that moment, it dawned on, me that Mark NEVER said anything about wilderness, no coffee in the morning, FASTING or only eating certain foods. He never even said I had to be outdoors. The biggest AHA was simply thinking about my peptide addiction to my morning routine. Like my 28 oz. of Kangen water, my 10 minutes on my hyper-vibe machine, my morning cup of coffee, my quiet time……. The list goes on. And suddenly, I made the connection between the disparity between what I was visualizing and what he challenged us to do. I knew then, I am addicted to my “habits”.
The icing on the cake was that night our guide, Candy, announced on Polo that she was getting away for five days and we were not doing a zoom call this week. I was excited for her and realized once again, I was overcomplicating this.
I woke up the next morning and it was on my vibe machine that I realized the answer is right in front of me. My son and daughter-in-law are going to Mexico on Thursday and their house is going to be empty. As soon as it was a decent hour, I texted them and arrange to go there for two days. I have a group of ladies coming over on Saturday night. My car will be packed. When they leave, I leave too. My silence begins!
Does that “vision quest” idea compel me? Yes, it does. Just yesterday I shared all this with a friend I had not spent time with for years. By the time our conversation was over, she has given me the target location for my “Vision Quest”….. to be scheduled. (sometime this year). Until then, my two days alone in someone else’s house will suffice. Better to DO IT NOW than to procrastinate. I am starting a list of questions I will be addressing. I will start with: What are the conscious and unconscious peptide addictions I have presently? Which ones serve me and which ones do I need to let go of?
My plan is to take my journal, the Haanel readings, my Bible, and whatever else I feel will be helpful. Excited? Is Silence Golden? To be continued……